When do I finally get to relax?

I guess after having a few miscarriages your eyes are automatically trained to check the toilet paper every time you have go. In fact, sometimes you even hold your bladder for as long as you can for fear that when you do look down, there will be the devastatingly disappointing appearance of blood signifying that it is, again, game over.

I’ve been fortunate this time, however a more ‘detailed’ doctor may have prepared me for a few cases where blood may be present, such as implementation bleeding. I swear my Ob-gyn thinks I’m one of those crazy pregnant women who thinks it’s her right to employ the entire medical team every time she feels an ache or pain she can’t identify. So in my panic at the sight of this bleeding instead of reassuring me that it was probably just this implementation bleeding – she suggested I got to the ER if I was ‘that worked up about it’. Hmmm. And she is going to guide me through the following months of even more unknowns? Not so reassuring. Note: Get a doctor who gives a rat’s ass if you’re going to do this. Not one who tells a 42-year-old woman that she drank wine and ate sushi when she was pregnant. She was pregnant at 22. Your uterus is practically invincible at that age.

So after a few days of the light spotting it finally stopped and all the pregnancy symptoms were still there. The alarm was over but I swear I’ll be on guard until D-day (delivery day -not the bad D-Day). My partner reassures me constantly by reminding me that I’m still crazy, bitchy, emotional and forgetful so I’m clearly still pregnant. This is called ‘support’.  How soon they forget about Loreena Bobbit.

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About Becoming Mommy

I'm a 42 year old woman pregnant with my first child. It's been a rough road to get here and even rougher once I got here! Books and websites cannot prepare you for what you're about to go through -emotionally and physically.
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