Lost in the pregnancy haze

It’s certainly been an interesting few months since my last post. The baby now kicks all the time and it still surprises me. I wonder if anyone gets used to it – although we’re not given that much time to get comfortable with the feeling before D-Day arrives.

We still don’t know the sex but since the last ultrasound – the 5 month anatomical scan that produced images resembling Benjamin Buttons – I can’t help calling the baby ‘he’ which throws off everyone and they think we’re keeping the gender a secret. It’s sort of like the cats and dogs thing to me. I always calls dogs ‘he’ and cats ‘she’. That very graphic ultrasound made the baby look more masculine. It was probably too much visual information and clearly the little guy (there I go again) wasn’t quite ready for a cameo or close-up! Either way I was tormented for finding it very detailed and had nightmares all night that I lost the baby in an grocery store and went home without him (again… see?).  The technician seemed really offended by my shock at the pictures. Not sure why – it’s not like I was insulting HER work of art.

Right now we have the standard new parent reaction -we don’t care about the sex as long as he/she has 10 fingers and 10 toes. But seriously, when I’m alone in my head as I shop the shelves of Nine West I do worry that one day I may have to share my already limited clothing budget with another female. Boys can live in white tee’s and Levi’s for quite awhile. With little girls you just can’t help but dress them up and decorate their bedroom’s princess pink!

I’m getting excited but am seriously dreading the pain of childbirth. I wonder if it’s unmaternal to admit that?

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About Becoming Mommy

I'm a 42 year old woman pregnant with my first child. It's been a rough road to get here and even rougher once I got here! Books and websites cannot prepare you for what you're about to go through -emotionally and physically.
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